As an ER nurse I remember really thinking, I knew what real grief was. I had held the hands of the dying and comforted those left behind. I’d heard the desperate screams from mothers and soft wail from fathers as they stood holding their child, for the last moments. . . .
Grief was the deepest emotion I had ever seen and I thought I knew it well. It wasn’t until my children died that I knew what real grief FELT like, it was much different than what it looked like. How does it feel?
For years now I have felt no need to share publicly on what has most certainly brought the very most peace through my children’s deaths. My closest friends have heard bits and pieces but this part of my journey has not been something I’ve been willing to share. Until today.
Being in a big family has always been something I’ve loved, even though my siblings get on my nerves I will always love it!
But something I have a difficult time with (being the second oldest) is after Lauren (the oldest) passed away, people would say to me that I was going to have to step into her roll of being the oldest.
"... loss does not have to be a subject that is overlooked, silenced for fear of upsetting someone, or just thought about and not talked about. We need others to lift us up when things are hard. So don’t be afraid to ask those who've lost a loved one “How are you doing?” or “Can I talk with you or pray with you?” We mourn daily, and some days we just need a little more support to get through another day."