What to Write in a Sympathy Card

If you're reading this, it is likely that you have sat quietly for a long time or searched the internet trying to find the perfect words for a special sympathy card. Thank you for opening your heart to offer support. While there is nothing that you can do to take the pain away from a grieving family member or friend, some words offer more support than others. Finding the right words can be tricky, since you certainly don't want to offend someone who may not receive comfort in the same way that your coping mechanisms offer for yourself.  

Here are my 3 quick tips on writing a sympathy card-

1. Keep it short. 

2. Address the name of the person who died in the card.  

3. Do not try to explain away the recipients pain with trite phrases like:

• "At least they are no longer in pain...
• "They are in a better place...
• "They wouldn't want you to be sad...
• "This will get better in time...
• "You can have more children...
• "God only gives you what you can handle...
• "You never know what you have until its gone...

The main point of a sympathy card is for the recipient to know they are being thought of through this difficult time.They don't need a lesson— even if you truly feel your words speak truth, it's important to understand that every word you write is going to be measured by someone who is dealing with a hurricane of emotions. One moment they may agree with those words, and the very next they may want to rip your card apart and scream, "how dare they!"

Helpful Examples for Memorial Cards-

• "Our hearts hurt for the pain you are going through.  Please know that we are thinking of you constantly and praying for you daily."
• "I know there are no words that will ease the pain you are going through, but we are here for you and will be checking in often."
• "You have been through more than I can even imagine. We are so sorry for the loss of your baby daughter, Zaylee. Please know we will be keeping you in our prayers over the coming days, months and years. She will never be forgotten."

And I hope you will add the most comforting words I ever received-

"This is a time for grieving, no need to send a thank you note."