Marriage After the Death of Two Children


Blog post by-Rachel Fitzgerald

I’ve watched marriages that have been through far less crumble.  My own parents after 45 years of marriage divorced 2 years ago.  It’s terribly sad but it makes sense, because sometimes the very worst of times need to come before the best of times and those who are not equipped with the resources and support from their church families, friends and community can fall short of overcoming such personal disasters.  And at the same time, even after every effort is made, some hurts cannot be fixed. I knew that feeling once of an impending collapse after the death of our first child.

That of deep hurt, hatred, and resentment.  So much so, that I vowed after the death of our second child to persevere through my life and marriage as if there was no option to fail.  The journey was awful.  Leaving the hospital for the second time without our child and facing each other as completely changed people. Nothing was the same.  Nothing felt safe.  My needs were not his needs and his needs were not mine.  But hope taught us that somewhere, we would find a trace of the "old" us in one another again.  That "old" us never surfaced, but something far greater did.  An adhesive bond that was formed through late night sobs and 

Memorial wind chime Gift

a gently hand that would find the others shoulder as we walked side by side through the greatest hell we have ever witnessed on this earth.  And just like that shoulder to shoulder we both come to know God at a deeper level, we no longer lived for ourselves but lived for Him.  God has a unique plan for each one of our lives—one that will give us hope and a future, and ultimately work out for our good. His plan is different and specific to each one of us. The why’s and what if’s no longer matter and we wont even ask when we get Home to Heaven.  We will thank Him, for a promise of an eternity without pain and a life forever with him and our children, and we are grateful in knowing 100%, this is not the end. 

Rachel Fitzgerald

Funeral for a Child-Marriage after Grief

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