When Your Child Dies-9 Years of Grief

9 Years Since Our Son Died

9 years ago today after a terrible snow storm, our 4 1/2 year old son Collin had just arrived home from preschool with his baby brother and daddy. He had asked to play in his snow fort, located on the other side of the house, instead of riding with daddy as he pulled snow from the floor inside the garage with his plow truck. Maybe Collin saw daddy’s truck and thought daddy was parked in the garage. We will never know. Why my husband and I were made to endure the worst possible situation a parent could be placed in, I’ll also never know.
God called for things to go that way and for whatever reason that was, He knew it would bring more glory to the gospel than any other scenario could have. And it did. As my husband cried out to God and tried to breath life back into our son, God was breathing life into him, for the first time. “It was no longer my husband who lived, but God who lived through him.” My husband carries awful flashbacks and enormous guilt deep inside his heart where very few people are allowed in. People may wonder, “where was God when that happened.” As I reflect back to my changed husband, I can honestly answer that. “God found him, and sat there with him in that freezing cold snow, as he wept for his son.”

Written 12/11/2021

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